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best-of-funny:

the-vashta-nerada:

my older sister is getting a law degree but she needs to have extra classes that aren’t related to law to complete it so she’s taking tree climbing 101

as in 

a class that teaches you how to climb trees

let’s talk about the american education system

this!!! americans need help but i wouldn’t mind climbing trees to pass than spend a fucking year cracking my brain

(via cuteandcatholic)

rexxmarksley:

imhereforthestory:

The note at the bottom xD

No no no!!! These are so wrong it hurts! Let me explain you a thing in nice bullet points

  • Butty =/= sandwich, we call sandwiches sandwiches! A butty is more like a roll that usually has bacon in (see bacon butty)
  • Fairy cake, shmairy cake! We call cupcakes cupcakes too! A fair cake is this to most people
  • If you’re not a pretensious arsehole most people call dessert dessert not pudding
  • MUFFLER, no no no! I’ve not even /heard/ someone use this, it’s a fucking scarf
  • Bugger =/= Jerk! Bugger is something you tend to say when you make a mistake ‘bugger me’, ‘oh bugger’. If someone’s a jerk you’ll probably call them: a wanker, a dickhead, fucking cunt, arsehole etc
  • RADGE? WHAAAAAT? Again, another one I’ve never even fucking heard
  • BEEEB, noooooooooooooooooooooo. The BBC is not Justin Beiber, never has been, never will be

Now that I’ve got the totally wrong ones out of the way! There are words that are American based that we say. Also, some of those words are /slang words/ they are not every day language!

  • Cuppa - usually referred to as a cup of tea (also, did u no that not everyone likes tea here)
  • Peckish - it means hungry, some people might say ‘I’m a bit peckish’ which just means you feel like snacking, you don’t say peckish when you’re fucking ravenous
  • Cozzy - This is what you’ll say to a little kid when talking about a swim suit, most people call them swim suits
  • Barmy/Daft - Again, slang, most people might just call you batshit fucking crazy
  • Plonker - Commonly referred to as a fucking idiot
  • Sod off - PISS OFF, we say piss off god damn it, if you think we say sod off all the time, you can piss off (jk, don’t piss off, I’m a nice person really)
  • Slapper/slag - Yeah, we might use it but did u no that a tramp is a homeless person in this country???
  • Ace - Never really heard anyone use that
  • Cheerio - Yeah, ok, it has been used but to be honest most people just say the regular ‘see ya’, ‘bye’, ‘adios amigos’. It’s also cereal, woah
  • Dog’s bollocks - Yes, this is a thing, as a Essex/Londoner, I say this often but it’s a slang word for something that’s fucking amazing, top notch m8
  • Gutted - We say upset too
  • Kip - Yeah, it’s used but a lot people say nap as well
  • Knackered - Again, it’s used but people still say tired
  • Shite - Shit, all the fucking same
  • Zonked - Like half the others, it can be used but you can say you’re exhausted
  • Cinema/Film - Hey, we switch between film/movie all the time, we’re so exposed to American media that we start using those words
  • Dosh - NOO, money, money money money
  • Plaster - What the fuck is an elastoplast? Sounds like something an American would call it

Congratulations, you have successfully understood English slang words. From this huge fucking rant you may have learnt that we interchange words between American and English. We use normal words to and we are not limited to the words listed. 

If you ever visit, please do not use this words. You will look like a grade A cunt, please, just don’t

This has been a public service announcement from a cockney arsehole

(Source: somethingsosam, via olaa993)

oyeelocaa:

hereby:


fashionandcontradictions:

selenagomez-updates:

Selena Gomez at the Billboard Music Awards 2013

Damnn

she so fine


Woah
way too much, its disturbing.

Tumblr Code.

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

image

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

image

(Source: aru, via olaa993)

travisgarland:

BLUE ELECTRIC ROSES.

olaa993:

Why doesn’t she want to accept that she’s pregnant?

buhahahahah. bitch wear flats. u look like u have elephantiasis
egberts:

mabeltron3000:

oomshi:

me when my mom says we’re getting mcdonalds
olaa993:

One of the few sane looking pictures from last night. 😁👯
olaa993:

Last Night! The madness was too real #asylumhull #wherewereallybelong
i-am-a-fucking-smurf:

thehipsterlifestyle:

rockpapertheodore:

christina-mcdonald:

Will reblog every, EVERY time.

what a helpful young person

I’ve this like 15 times and I still enjoy this!

i have waited 5 months for this back 
essvntially:

bonebiter:

me taking selfies with my main bitch welcome to australia fuckers

this will always be my fave